The Teenies has been a hell of a decade!! Since the moment 2020 began, I have been thinking about the decade we have just left behind and just how much my life has changed since the night Big Ben struck 2010.
At the start of the decade I would have been turning 18. Adulthood! I was rapidly approaching the end of college and finishing up my photography A-level. I had no idea what I wanted to do in life, I was in the midst of a mental health crisis, trying to fight a diagnosis I hadn't received (you can read my mental health story here) making some of the biggest decisions about my future.
My diagnosis came just months after. I was officially diagnosed as having Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (EUPD) most commonly known as Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Now I could seek the specialist help I needed.
I started university in 2010. I chose photography because at the time, it was all that gave me some form of calm in my manic life.
I bought my first car... or first 3 cars! The first two had major mechanical problems but eventually I was upgraded free of charge to my 54 plate Vauxhall Astra (it was my car of dreams).
I also started my first weekend 'job' in a factory cafeteria earning me a small but steady salary to fund my university antics!
The beginning of the decade had a dark cloud hovering over it. My mom was still suffering with cancer and although chemotherapy was still an option, we were told her illness was now terminal.
I spent as much time as my schedule allowed to spend time with her and help her with daily care needs.
Unfortunately my mom ended up dying in October 2012; the day after I had started studying to become an Operating Department Practitioner at The University of Leicester.
The following months saw funeral arrangements and the funeral itself, my mental health took a downward spiral and I ended dropping out of uni and months of endless grief.
Following the months after my mom's death, I attended weekly grief counselling. I got a part time job as a midday supervisor at my brothers primary school. Not long after this I had a job offer for my current position as a Radiology Assistant in my city's A&E hospital.
I began to rebuild my life from around 2015 onward. I dated, some good and some bad, I changed up my look (the era of vibrant coloured hair!), found things that I enjoyed, started to read and to learn and began to live life once more.
2016 was an incredible year. I became an Aunty to my incredibly cheeky Nephew Finley. Becoming an Aunty has taught me so much about my priorities in life, has boosted my confidence no end and has created the most incredible bond I have with him and my brother.
I started dating Jack in 2016 and with just a few months we had booked to go to Florida! This was my first holiday without my mom / an adult! If you would have told me in 2010 that I would go on a holiday to Florida with just my partner, my anxiety would have laughed in your face!!
2016 also saw me suddenly suffering from daily pain and fatigue which led to an eventual diagnosis of Fibromyalgia in early 2017. In August of 2017, myself and Jack moved out into our own first (rented) property; partly because it felt the right time and partly so that I could have some independence and it benefited both of our lives to be under one roof.
I lost a tonne of weight throughout 2017/18. I gained a whole heap of confidence and began to believe in myself. Although I've put about half of the weight back on, I am determined to lose it again and maintain my lower weight knowing that I have the willpower to do so.
Come January 2018, we had a new member of our family. We welcomed the addition of our dog. We were now a 'pack'. We bought a 18 month old Patterdale Terrior called Jet who has added so many memories (some hilarious, some stress inducing!) and so much love to our household.
February of 2018 I became a Fiance. Although its been a while, there are no solid plans for the when, wheres and whats! We're thinking of eloping in Florida but that's not to be confirmed just yet!
2019 was an absolute whirlwind of a year. Jack and myself moved to a lovely new property, my mental health was fairly stable, I was attending an art therapy group to help with my EUPD, we were all happy and (fairly) healthy and life was looking positive.
The year took a turn when my Brother spilt from his long term partner and mother of his child (my Nephew). Life became difficult over a number of months. These months saw so many difficult events, including a lengthy court process.
Fortunately as we enter the new year, things have calmed down dramatically. Of course there will be incidents in the coming years, but my Brother and Nephew are safe, loved and in a good position.
There has been a mix of good and bad over the past 10 years, far more than I can possibly remember.
There are multiple little things that have happened such as getting my first tattoo and numerous new piercings to being lucky enough to go on multiple holidays to places including Florida 3 times, multiple trips out and making memories with my family, creating solid friendships and a loving relationship.
It astounds me at how far I've come. I've gone from being a shy and timid girl riddled with anxiety who didn't think she would see the decade out, to an independent woman who is able to go out into the world and live a fairly normal life (despite still having metal health issues and now a physical disability). Nether the less, things are heading in the right direction and long may it continue!!
Here's to hoping this next decade is a successful, healthy and happy one!!
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